Haunted
by paynesgrey
Summary: Her fierce and determined eyes haunted him every night, and they followed his darkest thoughts and rising uncertainties. The Last Jedi spoilers.


AN: Written for the "haunted" prompt for my hc-bingo is a one-shot and will not be continued.

Haunted

Her fierce and determined eyes haunted him every night, and they followed his darkest thoughts and rising uncertainties.

" _Ben, I'm not giving up on you."_ It was more of a command than a promise, her tone filled with the stark and magnetic energy of the Force. Part of him wanted to believe her. He felt her pull, almost ready to throw down everything he'd achieved into the ashes and follow her lead.

She thought she could redeem him, and he feared settling on the thought that no one had believed in him like Rey had. Her belief enticed him, and another part of him - the darkest recesses of his being, wanted to twist that and tame that, changing her ways to bend to his rule and join by his side.

Rey was too good for this tired old story of good versus evil. Frankly, he was sick of it himself; sick of the endless fighting in a death spiral game to gain the upper hand. Their understanding and grasp of the Force rose them above all that, and Kylo Ren only wished she could see the potential for the future that he saw.

Her words, her voice, and the way he remembered her as they took down Snoke's guards did him no favors and already complicated his tumultuous thoughts. He had a taste of her - their energies in sync, the way his name came over her lips, and how he could not destroy her even if he wanted to.

She was too precious to destroy, anyway.

He dared not admit it, but he was entranced by her, and the closer she had been to him, the more inclined he was to touch her and soak in that Force energy against his skin.

The bond that Snoke claimed he created had not wavered either, even after his death.

That was how he knew she wouldn't give up on him. She had told him, even after she had refused to rule the galaxy beside him, even after they had broken the light saber, she still had hope in her heart.

It was hope that his parents had reserved for him at one time, and one was dead by his hands, and he wondered if his mother still felt that way now.

"Why?" he had asked her. He was alone in his bedchamber, gazing out into the depths of deep space when he felt the energies shift, and her presence - loud, raw and unyielding, was pulsating behind him like an angry ghost. "Why do you believe in saving me?"

"I've seen it. I know you, not just from what you were, but what you will be," she said cryptically.

He spun around to see her in loose fitting light blue and cream robes, different than her usual active attire. He couldn't see anything else around her, which only indicated that her training had increased and she was getting better at hiding her true location.

Kylo Ren didn't care anyway. He only wanted to see her and the rebels be damned. Soon, he believed, they wouldn't even matter - not a blip on a radar screen. In the end, there would only be him and her.

"What about what I have seen?" he said, rising slowly from his bed. He walked toward her and she didn't move a muscle. She watched him intently, looking him up and down with a solemnity that he hadn't seen in her expression before. When he came so close he could feel her breath, he reached out a hand and lightly touched her shoulder. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, and then met his eyes with the same sense of comfort. She looked at him not as a monster anymore, but a puzzle to solve and a broken boy to fix.

In those dark eyes he saw something else. He was almost afraid to assume what that look she had meant. When she reached out a hand to his face, he felt the pleasant hum of static from the Force as she traced a light finger down his cheek.

When she pulled her hand away, his body screamed in protest.

"Do you really think you know me that I could turn to your side? I have friends, I have a family now…"

"You don't need them," he said selfishly, and he saw a flash of anger flutter across her face briefly. "You have me." He took her hand and held it like she was physically here, with him, and enjoying the waves of the Force that rolled off her skin.

"You presume too much," she said lightly, but she did not pull her hand away.

"I presume no more than what already has happened, and what we have both seen. Light, dark, balance: all of that doesn't matter. Only us, Rey, _only us_ ," he said. "What we have seen is the same; you're just interpreting it differently…"

"No, I don't want to hurt the Resistance. I don't want anyone to perish from our power. I want only to belong, to grow, to know what good I can do in this world. I want to do this with you because I know we can," she said, and he felt her shift forward, her arms resting against his chest. "Ben, please."

Whatever stalemate they were in, Kylo Ren bypassed it through an impulsive surge that pulled her into his arms and drew her face to his. He captured her lips to seal her silence. He didn't want to hear her pleading anymore; he only wanted to touch, to ravage and take. He'd convince her she belonged be his side - one way or another. The Force tunnel that created this connection screamed in his ears the moment he touched her. The floor felt like it was vibrating beneath him, and he felt her moan against his mouth, letting him taste her, allowing his tongue learn every inch of her. She was wet and tasted like honey and sunlight. The air around them buzzed like an angry bees nest, but he couldn't let go. He wondered how far he could take this bond - this lifeline through the galaxy. He hated Snoke for all he had done, but he praised him for creating this - connecting them so easily and letting the bond remain even after his death.

When his bedroom walls shook, and random glass items fell off shelves and shattered on the floor, he pulled back as Rey stared at him bewildered. He glanced at her bruised lips, red and puffy from his onslaught and the Force creating the physical feeling.

She said nothing, so he spoke first. "The next time, I will take more than that. I will show you what I see in our futures."

"I told you; I've already seen it," she said lightly, inching forward and raising on her tiptoes to kiss his forehead. He closed his eyes at the tender touch and was almost ashamed for handling her so roughly before. He couldn't control himself then either, and he knew the next time his desire for her would only strengthen.

"You've seen it too, haven't you?" she asked, and he could feel the Force drawing back, dissipating like her form. He locked with her eyes and saw a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"Yes," he said, coming out in a croaked whisper. "I have. You said - _something_."

"No, you said _something_ , Ben, that you loved me. No one has ever told me that, not past or present. But in the future, it was you," she said tenderly.

"It hasn't happened yet," he resisted, unsure on how to pull back from such an intimate reveal.

"Yes," she insisted. "It has."

Her form completely faded, and like the ghost that haunted his thoughts, her taste now haunted his lips. Now he realized he would love her - someday, and he knew those words were the reason she fought for him.

If he could prevent his future and not give her so much power over him, he would, but he knew the effort would be lost. He was already seduced by her, power and light, and every time he saw her she was damning him further into a frightening unknown.

One thing was for sure - he couldn't prevent anything so as far as it concerned Rey. He didn't want to, and as long as that thought existed he feared her light would rise to meet him after all.

Was it her love that would save him? Or was it his love that would destroy him?

Kylo Ren turned back to emptiness of space and plunged his mind into it, looking for the inky darkness to subdue these urges. The only thing he could find beneath the surface was Rey, a beacon that was already drawing him away from the cold.

END


End file.
